


Daniel Gets Raped by Rigar

by campylobacter



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Alternate Reality, Crack, Episode Related, Established Relationship, Fan Comics, Fanart, Hats, Humor, M/M, Manip, Rape, Rape Culture, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-07
Updated: 2010-09-07
Packaged: 2017-10-11 13:39:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/112991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/campylobacter/pseuds/campylobacter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><a href="http://www.gatefic.com/"></a><img/>Rape humor's like, impossible to make funny unless the rapist is the brunt of the joke. And even then... RAPE-CRACK HAT PORN?! Comic-book style fotostory composed of 3x19 "New Ground" episode screen captures where, in an Alternate Reality, Daniel is captured by Rigar on Bedrosia and becomes his... hat model. And boy toy. Heavy warning for bad Neil Sedaka jokes. (Hey, I was just responding to an Area 52 challenge.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Shutup

**Author's Note:**

  * For [t_nelson80](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=t_nelson80).



> I don't read rapefic; it's not my cup o' tea. However, I never thought I'd ever write rape-crack hat porn, let alone make a fotostory of episode screencaps for it.
> 
> I kinda have to blame CleoTheMuse for all of this; she mentioned to me that she'd accepted a fic challenge at Area 52, so I went there and took a look at all the challenges and saw [a request by "Tracy"](http://pics.livejournal.com/campylobacter/pic/000gfakw/g131):
> 
> "I ASKED IF SOMEONE TO WRITE A STORY ABOUT NEW GROUND WHERE DANIAL GETS CAPTURED BY RIGAR AND DID NOT ESCAPE AND HE TAKES HIM TO HIS HEADQUARTERS AND RAPES HIM FOR SIX MONTHS BEFORE SG-1 RESCUES HIM. WILL ANYONE WRITE THIS FOR ME PLEASE I ASKED A YEAR AGO."
> 
> Okay...
> 
> Because it's Labor Day weekend in the US, I flailed around in GIMP until this monstrosity was born. There are 9 pages total. Enjoy.
> 
> If you're not familiar with ["Calendar Girl" by Neil Sedaka, watch it on YouTube in Scopitone](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpdY97Tt_iE). (Safe for work, but beware the comments.)

DANIEL: [kneeling, at gunpoint] Whoever you are, I come in peace. We can talk this through--

RIGAR: Shutup, bitch! I have evil plans for you that are evil!

DANIEL: _meep_

[TRIGGER WARNING: non-con (rape crack with hats)]


	2. Sing Us a Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rigar falls for Daniel's peaceable charm.

RIGAR: I am Rigar. Your ass is mine.

DANIEL: Uh, I'm Daniel. There's no need to get hostile. My people just want to get to know you better.

RIGAR: Well then, _Daniel_, welcome to Bedrosia, which means "Bed of Roses". Now sing us a song. A nice song. A song about bunnies and the changing of the months. By Neil Sedaka.

DANIEL: Neil Sedaka?


	3. B-Flat, Please

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniel tries to cooperate.

RIGAR: That's what I said. In the key of B-flat, please. Moocholus will provide you with hats.

MOOCHOLUS: Yes sir.

DANIEL: Um... I love I love my calendar girl. Yeah, sweet calendar girl. Ouch!

RIGAR: No! NO! You toneless dullard! SING the words, not just SAY them. Sing the melody, or you will force me to show you my pitch pipe.


	4. On Your Knees

MOOCHOLUS: Can I get the hats now, boss?

THUG: [threatening with Bedrosian laser rifle] On your knees, pretty boy.

RIGAR: [kicks Daniel] I will give you vocal lessons, and then we will win American Idol. Even if it takes six months and bribes for the judges.

DANIEL: [to self, on all fours] _I hate surprise buttsecks._


	5. Pitch Pipe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rigar puts Daniel in a cage.

[After the surprise buttsecks, Rigar imprisons Dr. Jackson.]

RIGAR: Blow my pitch pipe, Daniel.

DANIEL: How am I supposed to sing and play a pitch pipe at the same time?

[unzip]

RIGAR: You'll know when you see the size of my... PITCH PIPE.

DANIEL: ...


	6. Excellent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniel consents to singing for Rigar.

DANIEL: Okay, okay! I'll sing! I'll wear hats.

RIGAR: Excellent. Now... September!

DANIEL: _Ahem_. Ah, let's see...

[wearing crocheted cupcake hat with cherry-red pom-pom] September: Light the candles at your Sweet 16...

[wearing pumpkin-orange knitted tuque with green stem and leaf at crown] October: Romeo and Juliet on Halloween.

[wearing black Puritan's capotain with buckled hatband] November: I give thanks that you belong to me...

[to self: _Jack_]

[wearing floppy red velvet pixie cap trimmed in white fur] December: You're the present 'neath my Christmas tree...

RIGAR: [disturbingly aroused] Yeah baby...


	7. Music Lessons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rigar's music lessons are... repetitive.

RIGAR: [in grotesque ecstasy] ...so good... ooh yeah...

DANIEL: [offscreen] Ouch.

[Daniel endured 6 months of Rigar's music lessons, but neither Stockholm Syndrome nor party hats made him prefer Rigar over Jack.]

DANIEL: [wearing blue paper conical hat trimmed with blue tinsel garland, and looking pissed] January: You start the year off fine...

[wearing pale rose lace-knitted beret with glittery red heart antennae and looking dejected] February: You're my little Valentine.

[Until one day, Sam found the 'Gate address to Bedrosia.]


	8. SG-1 Arrives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack &amp; Sam arrive to rescue Daniel.

JACK: [really pissed] Hand over Daniel and no one gets hurt!

SAM: [to her badass self, while aiming bigass alien laser rifle] _I love my job._

RIGAR: [defending his position with a laser rifle] No! Daniel is MY little songbird!

JACK: [firing zat'ni'k'tel] Think again, Lumpy.

[zzat]

RIGAR: [flung back in agony by the blast] But I had 6 more hats!


	9. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack &amp; Daniel pick up the pieces, and throw a bone to Harry.

[Back at the SGC, Daniel gets the same post-rape therapy* he received after Hathor.]

*none {Canon, bitchez!}

JACK: Harry owes me one.

DANIEL: [incredulous] You gave Rigar to Maybourne?

JACK: Apparently, Maybourne has a criminal rehab program that involves dance therapy.

[Cut to Col. Harry Maybourne dreamily imagining Rigar dressed as a schoolgirl with blonde braids dancing in the 1998 Britney Spears "Hit Me Baby" music video.]

JACK: So Daniel, how did you survive 6 months with a sadist?

DANIEL: [smirking] I went to my happy place. [imagines Jack wearing pink furry bunny ears]

[April: You're the Easter Bunny when you smile.]

THE END


End file.
